Reflection

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Mom and Daughter Speak for the First Time: Beyond HELLO Day 3

photo[1]Millions of people around the world waited in anticipation for the birth of a Royal baby today.  For William and Kate, and the Royal watchers, today is a significant day in history -as a Royal baby signifies a new beginning and a new family bond.

In stark comparison, I too waited in anticipation today.  I walked the streets of Canada’s darkest neighbourhood – the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver, in hopes that I could find Cindy, an HIV positive woman who struggles with mental illness and addiction.  I crossed my fingers and hoped that today she would be ready to reach out and hear her child’s voice for the first time.

I first met Cindy last week when we began ‘Beyond HELLO’, a school based project where we reach out to the homeless community with compassion and understanding, and listen to life stories.Our goal is to provide hope to the Downtown Eastside residents and treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve as we attempt to breakdown down the us-them mentality that seems to plague our society.  To read part 1 and part 2 of our story , click on these links.

Part 1: All Too Familiar Streets  http://bit.ly/1bKJny7

Part 2:  Miraculous Moments   http://bit.ly/13W2mhq

Today our day began as a scavenger hunt.  The streets were busier than usual and behaviours seemed more extreme than normal.  Even the familiar faces that normally welcome us to the neighbourhood seemed a little less cheerful today.  Probably a combination of the hot weather, the full moon and the monthly pay day – still two long days away.  We walked the streets for an hour hoping to find Cindy.  We decided to see if she was at home, and took the elevator up to her floor of the government funded building. The elevator itself seemed more like a crate, with nothing but stained metal sides and cracked buttons.  Through the narrow halls we found her door, with a memo stuck to it, requesting her to bag her clothes so they could spray for bugs.  We knocked and waited.  No answer.

Back on the streets we walked up and down the hot pavement.  In casual conversation we spoke to some residents, often showing Cindy’s photo and asking if they had seen her.  Most had.  Cindy is well known in the DTES as she has survived the streets for over twenty years.  Despite her temper and drastic mood swings, there is something very likeable about Cindy.  She is intelligent, articulate, creative and passionate.  Despite her traumatic life story she is a strong woman.  When she opens up, and makes sincere eye contact, you can see her soul buried under layers and layers of hurt.  She has had a tough life, and is her own worst enemy, yet underneath a woman exists with moral values and a big heart.  As we spoke to others on the street, they each had something positive to say.  One woman told us about her journey through detox with Cindy.  Fortunately for this woman, she has managed to stay clean.  She suggested we try InSite, the safe injection site.

As we entered InSite, we were caught up in a steady stream of clients trying to enter the building through a narrow entrance ramp.  Others leaving shuffled their way through the narrow path bumping into one another in the tight space. Some brought their bikes in with them as there is no security in leaving them unattended on East Hastings.   The staff were busy checking clients in and out so we stepped aside to the waiting area until they had a moment. The staff at InSite are wonderful, nurturing and respectful, and spent time listening to us about our project.  They could not release confidential information but they told us that they would be happy to help as messengers by passing on information to Cindy.  We left a note with them including Cindy’s daughter’s phone number and then make our way back to the streets.

In our last attempt before heading to the car, we saw Cindy, just steps away from InSite, standing in front of the community garden where she planted the lavender for her daughter just last Friday.  Cindy looked alive and vibrant today.  She was wearing jeans, a red tank top and a grey headband.  She almost looked stylish – a drastic comparison to her outfits last week.

David and I approached Cindy, again not knowing whether she would welcome our visit.  This time she did.  She started by saying she could not believe our timing as she was just thinking about us.  I told her that I had more news about her daughter.  I let her know that her daughter had shared more poetry and we have printed it for her.  I also let her know that her own daughter has lived a life with some similar struggles.  She too had a baby at 16, and she has also struggled with addiction.  Cindy realized this means she is a grandma.  I let her know her granddaugther’s name and tears of love poured down her face.  Her legs became weak and she had to hold on to me for stability.  The news was so powerful that she needed to sit.  Beside her on the dirty streets she had an over stuffed brown teddybear.  She used the bear as her pillow and sat down.  Cindy stared deeply into my eyes not wanting to miss a single word as I told her about my emails back and forth with her daughter.  I assured her that her daughter understands her, and let her know that her daughter would love to say hi.  Cindy looked to me for strength and said ok.  I called the  number and listened to the rings at the other end.  After three rings I began to worry that we would not make a connection.  Then, I heard the voice of her daughter on the other end.  I let her daughter know that Cindy was ready to say hello.

Cindy took my phone and whispered “Hi baby – it’s your mom”.  Tears fell and she reached out her hand and took my hand.  She squeezed my hand tightly and I encouraged her to keep going, rubbing her back while she spoke.  The first thing she asked her daughter was whether or not the adoption agency gave her the twelve page letter she had left explaining all the reasons she had to give her up.  They had not.  Like a woman on a mission, Cindy condensed the 12 pages into a three minute explanation about her teenage years, her abusive boyfriend, her lack of support and her most difficult decision.  Her daughter understood.  The conversation became a bit lighter and the two of them discussed pottery and poetry.  Both women have an artistic, creative spirit, and felt the connection with one another.  Cindy then listened as her daughter spoke.  While I did not hear what her daughter said, I know it was heartfelt as Cindy’s emotion was one I cannot even describe.  All I can say, is that her face was overcome with expressions I have only witnessed through media after a tragedy has occurred.  With a mix of love, anguish and grief, her mouth seemed to stretch back,  and her eyes focussed intently as tears poured from her face.  It was the most raw emotion I have ever experienced.  I cannot find the words to describe it well but know I will never forget the image.   Soon, overcome by her emotion, Cindy tilted her head back and let the phone fall gently from her hand to the sidewalk. I picked up the phone to see how her daughter was doing.  I asked Cindy if she had anything else to say.  Through grief she asked me to tell her she loved her.  I told her she had the courage to say it herself and held the phone to her ear while she whispered to her daughter that she loves her.  She explained that she has full blown AIDS and does not have long to live.  It was a conversation Cindy has dreamed about for over twenty years, yet finding family when life is limited seems so unfair.  With a mix of shame and hope, love and pain, Cindy handed the phone back to me and let her head fall gently back on the sidewalk against the teddy bear. I let her daughter know I would be in touch soon and we hung up.

We sat with Cindy as she cried, staining her daughter’s poetry in fresh tears.  For the first time in Cindy’s life she has heard her baby speak.  She heard forgiveness for her most difficult decisions.  She heard acceptance despite her lifestyle.  Through loving words, a mother daughter connection was made, helping both of their souls heal.  Their missing puzzle piece is now found.  For Cindy it is bitter sweet.  She has waited her whole life to feel the unconditional love that exists between a parent and a child and has now found it near the end of her life.

Together we sat hand in hand on the hard, stained pavement surrounded by graffiti and the smell of drugs.   Together, despite our surroundings,  we found hope in Vancouver’s darkest neighbourhood.  All because these women had the courage to go ‘Beyond HELLO’.

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All Too Familiar Streets: Day One of ‘Beyond HELLO’ – a deeper look into the stories of the Downtown Eastside

ImageFive years ago, my students and I began Project H.E.L.L.O. (Helping Everyone Locate Loved Ones).  Each year at Christmas and Mothers’ Day we head to the streets of the Downtown Eastside and invite the homeless to reach out and re-connect with friends or family who they may have lost touch with by sending one of our handmade greeting cards.  We then return to the schools and use the internet and phones to search for families.  To date, we have successfully connected over 300 homeless people with loved ones through cards, phone calls and a special face to face reunion.

The experience has been life changing, as we have gained so much more than we have given.  We have experienced many moments we will never forget, when the rough edges of the Eastside dissipate for a minute, and individuals search their soul to find just the right words to say to their long lost family.  We have listened to heartbreaking stories of addiction, abuse, family breakdown and mental health, yet we have also left feeling inspired by the resilience, hope and love that still exists.    We have cried with parents and children overwhelmed to hear from their loved one for the first time in years.   And other times, we have mailed cards, never truly knowing the impact.   What we do know, is that each person on the DTES has a story.  A story that explains their life and makes them truly unique.   A story that I believe is worth hearing.    For when we understand, we judge less.

Today was day one of  ‘Beyond HELLO’.  The idea was simple.  I would head to the DTES on a hot day and hand out water.  I would then invite one person to go for lunch at Save On Meats Diner, and over lunch, I would ask them some deeper questions to understand their life story.  With their permission, I would share their story and explain that our goal is to help the public understand the people of the DTES and treat them with the compassion and respect they deserve.   I invited David Jennings to join me.  David is a  student at the University of Alberta, and one of the students who began Project HELLO with me five years ago.  With two cases of water, an iPad with some thoughtful questions and some good intention we headed to the streets of the Downtown Eastside.

David and I are both familiar with the streets of the DTES as we have visited the neighbourhood dozens of times with Project HELLO, so it caught us both off guard as we approached with trepidation, not knowing what to expect.  How would we invite someone to lunch? How would we decide whom to choose?  What would we say?  We decided to load two bags full of water and walk the streets.  We decided that when the moment felt right for either of us, we would ask.   After two blocks, and brief encounters, we approached a lady who appeared in need.  She stood alone on the street, with ragged clothing, and unkempt hair.   When we offered her a bottle of water, she accepted but said what she really needed was money for a meal as she was starving.  We replied by saying we were just headed out for lunch and we would love for her to join us at Save on Meats if she was interested.  She thought for a second and then accepted our invitation.  Seeming somewhat ashamed to be with us, or to accept our offer, she walked ahead of us at a rapid pace.  I asked her her name, and she replied with one word – Cindy. We introduced ourselves and for the next few minutes we walked behind her, offering water to others as we made our way to the restaurant.  Both David and I had the same feeling.   We had selected the wrong person.  She appeared somewhat erratic on the streets, crossing through intersections diagonally and attempting to ignore or avoid any small talk with us.  The thought crossed my mind to offer her money to eat and find someone else to join us.

As we entered the alcove of the Save On Meats diner, things changed.  Overcome with emotion, Cindy experienced a mental breakdown.  She turned to us and frantically explained that she had no idea who we were or why we were there,  but that she was highly suicidal.  She feared for her life because of a drug debt and believed today was the day she would die of murder or suicide.  In a rage of emotion she frantically explained her suicidal ideation repeatedly telling us she had decided that today was the day.  She could not understand why we had chosen to help her.    David and I helped her with the door, and asked the waitress for a table for three.  We acknowledged the stress Cindy was under and motioned for her to come in and sit with us so we could try and help.  Again overcome with emotion, and with fear in her eyes, she flung herself into the booth and she began to open up… Here’s how it began…

Cindy admits to us that she is an addict.  She calls herself a junkie and knows her addiction has the best of her.  She is also HIV positive and now has full blown AIDS.  Her extremities are swollen and inflamed, and her right leg is incredibly infected.  Her body is in septic shock.  She knows she is nearing death and that she should be in the hospital.  She knows it is time for her leg to be amputated, but she is scared.  Hospitalized recently, she tells us how she yanked her tubes out and escaped back to the Downtown Eastside so she could feed her addiction.

With fear and tears in her eyes, she explains that she has cheated a friend to get her last hit of heroin.  She owes the dealer twenty dollars, and if she does not pay, she knows that either she or her friend will be physically beaten.  Looking in her eyes, I know the fear is real.  She fixates on suicide and the need to jump off a bridge.  She also shares thoughts of robbing the bank down the street as these two options appear to be her only escape.  She has never robbed a bank before, but knows it has been robbed by others so she is willing to try in an attempt to get the 20 and avoid putting her friend at risk.  Although I never give money out on the DTES, something tells me this is different, and that Cindy is telling us the truth.  I hear myself say to Cindy that things will be ok.  We will help take some of the stress off her, let her have a good meal, relax for a while and after lunch I will give her the 20 to pay her debt.  Cindy starts to relax, but is still overcome with fear of what may happen to her friend.  The waitress approaches and Cindy orders a coke, a strawberry shake, a burger and fries.  She then sheepishly asks if she could have the $20 right away, so she can go take care of the debt before lunch as she cannot relax knowing her friend is in jeopardy.  I hear myself agree and hand Cindy $20.    As David and I sit together in the booth, we quickly reflect, both wondering if she will return.  I ask David if he believes her story, and in complete agreement, he says, yes – you can see it in her eyes.

Five minutes later, Cindy returns.  A weight has been lifted off her shoulders and she cannot believe we have helped her.  With panic gone, we begin to see the real Cindy, and begin a great two hour conversation.  Cindy is almost speechless, wondering why we have chosen her to help.  David and I explain project HELLO and through conversation we realize that we have found family members of two of her friends.  We use David’s phone to show Cindy pictures of her friends Rosemary and Sandra, and tell her about the connections we have helped them make.  She is in disbelief and again thanks us sincerely.  She again explains that today was the day.  She had chosen today to die, and was standing on the street contemplating suicide.  Right before we approached her, her thoughts were shouting out that no one in this entire world cared about her.  Looking in our eyes with a calmness and softness that had not existed on the streets, she tells us that she feels a higher power is at work today as we are exactly what she needed.  Through tears of appreciation she tells us that we seem so real and so grounded and she can not believe we have picked her to join us for lunch.  We thank her for her words, and explain to her that this is our first day of ‘Beyond HELLO’ and she is the first person who seemed like they could use some company and a good meal.

As our food arrives, Cindy excuses herself to wash her hands. Feeling like the presentation is not appropriate for a suicidal woman, I remove the knife that is projecting from Cindy’s burger.  She returns with wet hands and embraces her burger and milkshake with childlike wonder.  Although she has lived across the street for twenty years, this is the first time she has been in the restaurant, and the first time in years that she has ordered from a menu.  Despite her appearance the wait staff treat her with respect and it seems like Cindy is no different than anyone else in the restaurant.

Through lunch I explain to Cindy how her story can inspire others.  I acknowledge the heart and spirit that we can see and the life she has within her.  Together we agree that today is not her day to die.  I too don’t know why she stood out to us on the streets, but we all recognize that a reason exists for us to come together. I invite her to tell us her story and ask permission to share it so others can understand the people of the DTES and the circumstances of their lives.  She looks at us with pride and disbelief, moved by the glimmer of hope that her story could make a difference to others.  She is honoured and willing to share….

Cindy moved to the DTES at the age of 16.  She was born to a middle class family in Oshawa, Ontario.  Her mom has a hard working woman who was very health conscious.  Cindy stops and says to me that I remind her of her mom.  I laugh and tell her that I’m in the middle of eating French fries so I can’t be a health nut.  She laughs too and tells me her mom likes French fries too but would only allow herself to have one.  As I continue to eat my fries she continues.  She does not give us details but alleges to an abusive step father as one of the reasons for the move. Before moving to BC she gave birth to her daughter who she gave up for adoption as she did not have any means to provide for her.   Cindy mentions that she has always wanted to find her daughter but she wants to clean herself up first.  She has thought of reaching out to an agency to help but wants to be drug free to make her daughter proud.  Unfortunately she has been in and out of rehabilitation programs, and although she has gotten herself clean twice over the past decade, the lure of the drugs in the neighbourhood always draws her back. In the early days she worked the streets of Vancouver, caught in a vicious cycle of prostitution and addiction.    She speaks of an organization from twenty years ago called the Teen Challenge that really reached out and connected with her.  She says that we remind her of the people who helped her then as she feels so  comfortable opening up with us.

She also speaks of her son who she gave birth to in 1991 with her boyfriend who still lives in the DTES as well.  She lost guardianship of her son and she believes he is now in Montreal.  She spells his name for us and I ask David to check Facebook.  Within minutes, we have her son’s Facebook profile on David’s phone, with a matching name and birthday.  For the first time in over 20 years, Cindy is looking at her son’s face.  She is overcome with joy and holds the phone cheek to cheek asking us if we can see a resemblance.  She explains that her son’s father tried to hurt her recently by yelling out his balcony at her saying their son was in jail for sexual assault.  She says she hates to think her son would be capable of that and she wonders if it’s the father’s way of trying to hurt her.  David and I decide not to tell her that the Facebook post on his page from a friend says ‘Are you still in jail?’

Cindy tells us about her living conditions in her government funded building.  Despite her need for cleanliness, she cannot help but feel the walls are closing in as bugs swarm her tiny apartment entering through the ventilation system.  The smell of chemical fumes is overwhelming.  The hallways have blood stains and splatters on the walls and door handles.  Broken needles are prevalent and her foot is extremely infected from the tip of a needle that is lodged within her foot.  Her leg is red and purple, three times the size it should be and covered in a rash up to her knee.  She walks with a limp because of the pain.    She tells us about another tenant who has beaten her regularly.  She also speaks of an ex boyfriend who lived with her for a while.  Four years ago they too had a child together, another girl,  but the baby was taken into ministry care.  When she speaks of her children you can see the shame she feels yet the eternal love of a mother who never stops worrying about her kids is also evident.   She knows she does not have long to live but wishes she could let them know how much she loves them.  David and I take down the correct spelling and details around each of her three children and promise to share her story and send love if we can find them.

As we finish lunch, Cindy is again in tears.  Her vocabulary and world knowledge is impressive as she explains that her actions as an addict do not align with her moral fibre.  She knows she has hurt people to feed her addiction and she is so ashamed as she knows that underneath she is a  good strong person.  She also knows that she does not have long to live.  She knows her doctor wants her to be at St. Pauls Hospital in the AIDS ward.  She knows she will die there.  When she talks about her recent run from the hospital she explains she was not mentally ready.  She knows her time is almost up but she wants to be at peace with herself and heal some wounds with others.  She talks abut whether or not this is a selfish pursuit.  She explains that she often thinks of people in Auschwitz who died in Concentration Camps.  If they were not given time to mentally prepare for death, why should she be afforded such a luxury?  She wrestles with this though but wants to find peace before she dies.

As the waitress brings us the bill, Cindy seems at peace.  She asks to use the washroom and returns completely cleaned up.  Her hair is wet from quick wash and is now tied in a pony tail off her face.  She has cleaned her face and hands and mentions she has even washed her feet in the sink.  With a new lightness of spirit, she tells us she no longer feels alone, and she believes she is ready to go to the hospital.  I ask if she would like an ambulance or if she would like a ride to St. Paul’s.   Cindy then pauses, and asks if she can ask us for one final request.  We invite her to share.

“Can we please take a detour on the way to the hospital.  Can we go for a drive so I can see the ocean one more time before I die?”

“Yes – I think that’s a great idea.  How about we drive through Stanley Park first?”

“Oh- can we stop for a minute so I can put my feet in the ocean? And could you please take my picture there and share it with my family?”

“Yes.  I think that’s a wonderful idea.  I think you are ready to do that”.

As I pay the bill, Cindy excuses herself for a smoke break outside.  We join her minutes later and point to my car two blocks away along Hastings, an all too familiar street for Cindy.

We approach my car and let Cindy know she can have the front seat.  She mentions her stomach is doing flips.  Perhaps it’s the nerves, perhaps it’s the milkshake, coke, fries and burger that are hard on her system that usually gets by with so much less.  We stand outside my car and the sights, smells and passerby’s of Hastings surround us.   Drawn by her addiction, Cindy looks at me with one hand on the car door and asks if she can please have $20 for one more hit  or some T3’s to stop the pain.  I say no.  Cindy then asks for $10. Then $7 and then $5.  She needs her drugs before she leaves so she can self administer them while at the hospital.  I look her in the eyes telling her I will not give her money to feed the addiction.  The hospital staff have the medication she needs.  Caught in turmoil, she is paralyzed. I tell her I can take her to the ocean, I can take her to the hospital but I will not give her money.  Our eyes meet and we both feel the pain, knowing that the Cindy we got to know has surrendered to the addiction once again.  Her need for just one more hit is stronger than her willpower to escape.  I hear myself say “Cindy,  I think it’s time we should go.” And I know by looking at her that she feels the shame of another broken relationship.   David and I get in the car.  We sit and wait for a minute in case she can find the strength.   Knowing she is not ready, I drive away slowly, with the image in my rearview mirror of Cindy hunched over the parking meter, forever burned in my mind.

Tonight, after returning home, I have located Cindy’s mom and her daughter who she gave up for adoption.  Through Facebook we have located pictures of her mom, son and daughter.  Her daughter is a spitting image of Cindy yet they have never met.    I have sent messages to the mother and daughter, explaining ‘Beyond HELLO’ asking them to contact me about Cindy.  At the very least, I can provide Cindy with pictures of her family.  Perhaps her wish will come true and she can connect with family before she dies.  Late this evening, I feel a small miracle occurred.  After noticing that her daughter has not been active on Facebook for over six months, I decided to click on her ‘Friends’ tab with the intention of picking a random stranger to help me connect.  I then noticed the (1 mutual friend) notation under one of her friend’s photos.  By a strange coincidence, her daughter is friends with a man in Ontario who is friends with one of my ex-students.  This same student actually approached me last year about spreading the word of Project HELLO  in Ontario.  We have now connected and he too hopes that the mutual friend can reach Cindy’s daughter for us.   I do not know what will come of today’s lunch, but I am grateful to Cindy for having the courage to share her story and her willingness to share with the world.  There is good reason to go Beyond HELLO. 

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The Purpose of Education

“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.”  
Aristotle
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Sometimes when we talk about education we lose scope of what matters.  Political campaigns and media headlines emphasize numbers: school closures, class sizes, rising costs and grad rates.  Numbers give us quick answers, and an easy way to compare schools to one another. While math was definitely my favourite subject growing up, I’m not a fan of numbers when it comes to measuring schools.  Of course class sizes, dollars spent and high marks are important, but these pieces of data pale in comparison to what really matters in education.
Let’s take your own school experience as an example.  Take a second to think back to your school days.   Do you recall the number of students in each course, the cost of your annual school fees or the grade point average of your graduating class?  I’m suspecting those are hard facts to remember.  If this is the case, why do we so often turn to quantitative measures when we set school goals or measure a school’s performance?  Quantitative data is easy to measure but I question whether it should be the goal.  When we focus on what really matters in life, we create environments where kids feel safe, supported, connected, inspired, and excited to learn.
What happens if I change the questions about your education.  This time,  what if I ask you to  tell me the name of your favourite teacher, the best class you ever took or the connections you made with others.  I bet these questions are much easier to answer.  When I look back I remember my grade 10 science teacher Mr. Sandy Hill.  Our class always looked forward to the weeks when science would fall in the last block on Friday, as those blocks were dedicated to lessons in life.  He taught us that ‘hallway’ was the most important subject, and used the power of story to teach us valuable lessons about friendship, compassion, and life in general.  In grade 12,  I met my favourite teacher of all, Mr. Rich Chambers.  And here’s the irony – I hated the subject he taught.  Yet I signed up for Comparative Civilizations so I could hear his stories, and experience what it was like to be in his class.   Every morning he greeted each of us at the door with a handshake.  He brought humour and energy to every class.  He had high expectations and he cared deeply about each and every student.  Attendance wasn’t something he had to worry about as a teacher as his class was so exciting that no one wanted to miss it.
Personally, I will never forget a particular April morning in my grade 12 year.  I had a terrible fight with my parents and I had been crying most the night.  When I woke up my eyes were puffy so I wore my sunglasses to school.  Mr. Chambers was at the door as usual, waiting to greet each student.  As he shook my hand he exclaimed “hey – nice shades!”.  I lifted my glasses so he could see my swollen eyes.  He gave me a quick pat on the shoulder and told me we would chat soon.  What happened next was perhaps the best ‘teacher education’ I have received.  He did not single me out or draw any attention to my bad day.  Instead, he started the class by saying today was the day we were going to have mini conferences with him in the hall to talk about our progress.  He put a video on relating to the curriculum and began to call each student out for individual meetings.  After two or three students, it was my turn, and he was able to discreetly talk to me about what was going on in my life outside school.  I will never forget that moment where he seamlessly transitioned his lesson to discreetly help me though a difficult time.  Teachers like Sandy Hill and Rich Chambers truly understand that the most valuable lessons we learn in school are lessons in life.
 Now that I’m a parent I think about what I want for my own children.  Here’s what I want their school experience to be like:
  • I want them to develop a love for learning  where childlike wonder develops into an inquisitive nature.  Where they are just as excited to raise their hand in grade 12 as they are in kindergarten.
  • I want them to understand how they learn so they can continue to apply their skills to new content throughout life.
  • I want them to become socially responsible citizens who care deeply about others and take the time to know people’s stories.
  • I want them to have rich experiences in and out of the classroom where they connect with community, explore a vast array of topics, and start to discover their own passions.
  • I want them to play.  I want them to feel safe enough to take risks and embrace their creative spirit.
  • I want them to find balance with skills in technological literacy for a  fast paced world yet equal skill in self reflection, mindfulness and comfort in silence.
  • I want them to be loved, appreciated and understood.  I want them to experience synergy and contagious energy that develops when they truly connect with others.
  • And more than anything I want them to always be happy.  I want them to understand that happiness does not come from getting what they want, but rather from giving to others, expressing gratitude, being active and reflecting on who they are becoming.
  • I want them to learn with passionate educators who believe in educating the mind as well as the heart.  This video, which was beautifully created for the Heart Mind 2013 Conference captures this perfectly.   http://www.educatingtheheart.org
As an educator, I want this for my children and for your children.  Do I also want them to get good grades?   Of course I do.  I’d just rather we focus on what matters most.  When we create learning environments where our children can thrive, the numbers will become a by-product of more meaningful and significant goals.
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Lessons from the Lottery

“Luck is when opportunity knocks, and you answer.”  Author Unknown 

Last night as I was cleaning the kitchen a commercial aired on TV advertising Lotto 649.  As the thought of purchasing a ticket ran through my mind, I stopped and asked why.  Why would I want to win the lottery? What would I do if I won?  When you ask others what they would do if they won the lottery, many people talk about living their dream, spending their time and money as they wish.  Dreams often include travel, moving to a new home, helping family, changing or altering careers, spending time with loved ones, and volunteering for meaningful causes.  Thanks to a professor at the University of Victoria, I now think differently about the lottery.

In 2009, I travelled to U-Vic for the Fresh Minds Symposium: a day showcasing university life for bright young minds.  Grade nine students had the opportunity to attend lectures on a variety of topics.  Unfortunately I do not remember the name of the professor I had the pleasure of listening to, but I do remember his story.  He started his lecture with a story about his personal background.  He shared with the students that he had only been at U-Vic for a couple of years.  Prior to that he lived in the Prairies with his family.  He was working full-time, managing his career and family commitments while feeling overwhelmed.  On his way home from work he decided to stop and buy a lottery ticket.  He dreamed of the day he could win the lottery and change his life.  He even decided to make a plan, asking himself what he would do if he won.  He had always loved Victoria and so he decided he would move there.  He had always wanted to do research and teach so he knew that even if he won millions, he would love to work for a local university once settling into Victoria.  With a plan in place he waited with anticipation, hoping he could escape his current reality and live the life he dreamed of.  Unfortunately he did not win.  However, he learned some lessons from the lottery.  He realized he was leaving his life to chance, and that he had the power to create the life he wanted even without winning millions.  Of course he had to take some risks that could be avoided with a million dollar cheque, yet he used his experience as the motivation to start living the life he wanted.  He applied to the University and within a couple of years he was able to achieve his goal of landing a job as a professor in Victoria.

When the commercial aired last night,  I stopped to think: Why would I buy a ticket? What would I do if I won?  Who could I help? How could I best spend my time? Where would I work? Where would my family live?  When I answer these questions I recognize that I have the opportunity to pursue many of these dreams now, rather than leaving them to chance.  My husband Shawn and I spent some time answering these questions.  While we may not be able to make drastic changes to our lives without the lottery funds, we can use this experience to guide us in the right direction. When we have a big decision to make, we can stop and ask which solution aligns best with our dream.  What do we want to learn? Where do we want to live? How can we best give back?  Do we really need a lottery ticket to make these changes?

So… while I wish you the absolute best of luck winning the lottery, I encourage you to stop and ask yourself ‘why’ before you purchase another ticket.  What are your really hoping for? What changes do you want to make? Are your dreams really best left to chance? Or can you make small changes today to live the life you really want.  If we can learn lessons from the lottery to make positive change, then really we have already won.

 

 

 

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Waves of Emotion: Helping Children Recognize the Power of Silence

“Peace: It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

Author unknown

I am not a quiet person.  I like to talk.  I like to laugh.  Those who know me well describe me as an extrovert.  And yet, the older I get, I wonder if that’s really true.  I find that as I get older, the more I rely on my inner voice and the more I learn to appreciate silence.  When I need to make a big decision I certainly like to talk to others, but ultimately I find I am able to find answers when I am quiet. When I take time to consciously stop and reflect, things become clear. Times like spring break, Christmas break and summer provide natural opportunities to read, reflect, and think.  I appreciate these quiet moments and recognize I need to schedule them into my day when life is operating at the regular pace.

imageThis spring break, I am on vacation with my family in San Jose del Cabo.  As I write this blog, I can hear the waves from the Sea of Cortez crashing against the shore.  They sound like thunder yet soothe the soul and remind me of the power of the universe. At the shore, the waves are giant as they crash against the sand, yet further out in the distance, the sea appears calm.  At the surface, the water churns with emotion, and yet, deep within, a place of calm exists.   Listening to the waves, I can’t help but recognize a parallelism that exists between the sea and children. Like the sea, children are full of emotion.  The emotions of children are often unpredictable, can change in a moment, and can range from pure jubilation to stormy seas in a matter of moments.  Authentic emotions roll freely from children, as they have not yet learned to hide emotion.  As parents and educators, we face the challenge of helping children return to a calm place while managing our own emotions at the same time.

When I think about the teens I have worked with as an educator, I recognize that so many of them are also like the crashing waves.  They have highs, lows, and a range of emotions that surface from positive and negative stressors.  It seems more and more common to work with children who struggle with depression, anxiety, or difficulty managing the stress in their lives.  As I start to recognize the power of silence, I wonder if we are allowing our children to grow up with enough down time built into their days.  Do we help kids find the calm that exists within them?  As parents I wonder if we are teaching our kids to appreciate silence or have we created negative associations with quiet time by using strategies such as ‘time out’?

As a parent, there is nothing I want more than my children to grow up ‘happy’.  When I say I want my children to be happy, that does not mean that I want to give in to their every wish and surround them with material items.  Instead, I want to help them grow up with the habits that truly create happiness.  The science of happiness studies the habits of truly happy people.  These habits include positive thinking, altruism, exercise, gratitude, connection to others, relaxation, reflection and stress management.  So I stop and ask… how many of these habits do we teach to our children?  As a parent, I can think of ways I teach my children to think positively, give to others, exercise, connect and show appreciation; but I’m not sure I have put as much effort into teaching my boys how to relax, reflect and manage stress.  When I think of our schools, I see the same pattern.  Schools today seem busier than when we were kids.  Emphasis on cooperative learning and the integration of technology has a positive impact but also adds a new level of connection.  This is an exciting time, and learning today is an incredibly rich process.  As classrooms become more dynamic, do we need to be consciously aware of the quiet time we schedule into the day? Should we ask ourselves how we are teaching our students to relax, reflect and manage their stress? Kids today grow up with high tech toys, the internet at their fingertips and activity filled schedules.  Do we allow for introverted children to shine? Do we teach extroverts the power of silence? Many schools have implemented MindUP training to help children develop mindfulness but unfortunately it seems to be a program of choice based on the teacher rather than a competency that children of all ages are working towards.

imageDuring spring break I am able to spend fun filled days with my kids from morning until evening. Our days are full of swimming, beach walks, activities, games, time with friends, and constant conversation. Our kids have a rich and wonderful life. However, we don’t seem to have much down time built into the day.  Even ‘down time’ often involves the TV or a high tech toy.

The more I read about wellness and happiness, the more I recognize the importance of silence in our daily routines. Silence can take many forms (meditation, mindfulness, yoga, reflection, journaling, etc).  Just last night I watched a video clip where Marci Shimoff speaks about happiness and how it was managed in indigenous cultures.  When someone was feeling depressed, they would visit the Medicine Man or Shaman.  He would ask four questions:

When did you stop moving?

When did you stop singing?

When did you stop telling others your story?

When did you stop having time for silence everyday?

Just last week, my two boys had an argument. As I was getting ready for school my youngest son, age 5, was at my leg crying.  He had been first to the remote control yet his brother, age 8, came along and took the remote to turn the TV to his chosen show. Through tears, Cole said “I was watching the Black Show and Jaden changed the channel and the Black Show is my favourite!”  I asked Jaden why he had changed the channel, only to discover that Jaden had taken the remote because Cole had not turned the TV on. His favourite show, The Black Show, meant he was holding the remote and staring at the black screen.  In the moment this seemed cute and funny.  Today, reflecting on life at a busy pace I wonder if I missed a moment for Cole to enjoy the silence.

Like the crashing waves, we have emotion that rolls from us throughout the day, yet like the sea, a place exists within us where we are calm.  How can we teach our children to find the calm beneath the waves? When spring break concludes and we return to the hectic pace of regular life, I hope to make moments of silence a routine for my children and I.  And next time my five year old grips the remote and asks if he can watch the Black Show, the answer will be a definite yes.

Happy Spring Break!

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The Habit of Happiness…

The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. ~ William James,  Science of Happiness

Take a second to think about your workplace.  Think about the employees who work there and think about their overall level of happiness.  It is quite likely you can imagine your co-workers along a continuum.  Some individuals seem to have a natural gift of happiness, viewing the world in a positive light, while others seem to carry extra weight on their shoulders, overcome with negativity and the roadblocks that stand between them and happiness. We all know someone who seems to suffer with Monday Misery. The person who walks in Monday morning only to ask if it’s Friday yet.    Imagine choosing to hate one out of every seven days just because it’s Monday. It’s like choosing to be grumpy for twelve years, if we assume the average life span is just less than 85 years of age.

I own a water bottle that is covered in inspiring quotes on the outside. One quote, which receives some debate, states  “The pursuit of happiness is the root of unhappiness.” I like it for two reasons: First, I like it because I agree with this idea, and second, I like it because there is an element of awareness that arises once you take responsibility for your own happiness level, and recognize how flooded our society is with others who don’t.  Just this morning I read a front page newspaper headline quoting a teenager who claimed the actions of others have ruined her life.  If only the teen could recognize that viewing her life as ruined is actually a thought she has full control over. When we attribute happiness to external factors, we create a moving target that we are always running towards.  To stop and find happiness within allows us to be present and enjoy life now.

Shawn Achor, gives a fantastic TED Talk outlining The Happy Secret to Better Work.  Achor recognizes “It’s not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world  that shapes your reality.  And if we can change the lens, not only can we change your happiness, we can change every single business and educational outcome at the same time.” When our brains are happy we produce more dopamine which stimulates learning, creativity and energy levels.   Creating this environment in our schools and teaching students how to be happy has positive impact in the classroom and beyond. According to Achor, our external world only predicts 10% of our long term happiness in life.  The other 90% is determined by how our brain processes information.  The great news is that we can re-train our brains, once we recognize how to be happy.  I know that when I am stressed the habit of happiness is something I need to be conscious of and sometimes I need to schedule strategies into my day.  While psychologists of happiness may have a variety of tricks, these are my favourites that work best for me.

1) Exercise.  I know that when I work out in the morning, I am a better mom, a better wife, and a better educator.  When life becomes busy this is often the first habit to quit, yet it most needed during stressful times.

2) Gratitude.  I like to end each day thinking of five things I am grateful for.  I need to make effort to share this gratitude with others.   I love the quote “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

3)Journal.  Writing thoughts down always feels therapeutic to me.  Not only does it allow me to release emotions, it allows me to put things in perspective and ask myself why I feel the way I do.

4) Sleep. I hate to admit this one as it makes me feel old.  I used to live on 5 hours sleep per night.  Lately I really recognize that a little extra sleep has an amazing ability to shift the lens of how I view the world. A tad ironic that I’m typing this tip at 1 AM.

5) Be Still.  While I love the chance to talk with friends and family, especially when I am feeling unhappy, I also recognize that the final conversation needs to be a chat with myself.  The answers are within. Happiness does not come from pleasing others but rather from listening and trusting our inner voice.

6) Take Responsibility. There will be days, weeks and perhaps years that are more difficult than others for each and everyone of us.  As we face adversity, challenge and change, our sense of belonging and well being shifts. I like to remind myself regularly that although I do not have total control over what happens to me, I always have control over how I react.  I can choose to embrace the habit of happiness.

Happy BC Family Day Long Weekend! I hope you choose to make it a happy one!

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My Top Ten Mistakes and the Lessons I Have Learned

A man may fall many times, but he won’t be a failure

until he says that someone pushed him. ~ Elmer G. Letterman

Recently I sat down to prepare for a job interview for a Vice Principal position with the Maple Ridge School District. To do so, I created a chart, with a range of topics that I thought may come up during the interview. Under each column I reflected on my career in education, with examples that I could use to demonstrate my skill set. I anticipated there may be a question about mistakes I have made, or things I would do differently if I had the chance to go back and start over, so I created a column just for my mistakes. As I brainstormed scenarios, I found that the ‘mistakes’ column brought back some great memories, and I found that I was laughing out loud, thinking back to some of my career bloopers.   

What I started to recognize is that the moments that emerged as mistakes also helped me grow as a leader. Each mistake challenged my thinking, required some creativity, and taught me a valuable lesson.  Looking back, these are some of the most enjoyable memories, as these are days I will never forget!

Pam Becker, Vice Principal at Pitt River Middle School recently wrote about mistakes, and the importance they play in our adult lives. As educators, we often remind students and their parents that mistakes make us human, and help us learn and grow. As adults, we don’t always grant ourselves the same permission, and often choose to play it safe. Choosing the safe route may yield fewer mistakes, but it also dampens our creative spirit.  JK Rowling offered an outstanding commencement speech on The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination. She describes rock bottom as the solid foundation for re-building life. 

Fortunately, I would not describe any of my bloopers as ‘hitting rock bottom’, though I do feel there are lessons to be learned from each experience.  I share with you what I consider My Top Ten Mistakes and the Lessons I have Learned.

Mistake # 10 – BEST 40th Photobest40

To commemorate the 40th anniversary of our school, we decided to take an aerial photo of our students on our field spelling out BEST 40.  We had a vision, and thought it was possible.  I contacted the News 1130 traffic helicopter and they agreed to take the photo.  Unfortunately the time they were in the air didn’t correlate with school hours so we went to Plan B.  I contacted the fire department and asked if they could use their Tower Truck to take the photo.  They agreed, assuming no emergency calls came in.  With vision and optimism, we thought we were ready.  I went to Costco and bought a gazillion roles of hockey tape to line the field before an assembly where we gave instructions on how to line up.   Sounds good right?  Well the logistics had some flaws.  Teachers called me over to tell me they had calculated the angle and that the photo would not work.  The hockey tape didn’t stick to turf, and to make matters worse the colour of the tape almost matched the field colour. Almost everyone suggested we just take one big group photo.  However, my principal and I had faith.  With completely inappropriate footwear for the weather conditions, we gathered five students to help us and we spontaneously used all the masking tape in the school to outline BEST 40. With minutes to spare, we led the assembly and our plan worked. The Tower Truck arrived, no emergency calls came in and we got our photo.  LESSON: Plan ahead but always believe in hope.

Mistake # 9 – Post It Note Chaos

Last June, I was approached by two of my leadership students.  They wanted to play a ‘grad prank’ that was safe and in good taste.  They had a vision of using thousands of coloured post it notes to line the lockers of the school spelling ‘GRAD 2012’.  They wanted to do this on a Sunday evening so the staff and students could arrive on Monday morning to find a colourful and tasteful surprise.  I agreed to meet them on Sunday night, so a group of 10-20 students could create their ‘art work’.  They brought in music, snacks and thousands of post its.  They got to work and I used the time to catch up on work in my office.  Life was going well until I heard banging from the floor above me.  I quickly discovered that the post it note prank had progressed into an out of control party of sorts. Students had let other students in, and not all of them had the same intention.  The pranks were no longer in good taste, and many other minor pranks were being arranged on each of the three floors.  I could not believe that I had essentially contributed to an event that had a negative impact on our school. I felt so much shame. Thankfully one of my friends on staff agreed to help me in the late hours cleaning as much as we could before Monday morning arrived.  Lesson: Kids will be Kids. Give them the wings to fly but not free reign of the school to plan a grad prank. 

Mistake #8 – Emergency Folder Updates

Every room in our school has an emergency folder with information, maps and paperwork necessary to help in an evacuation or emergency.  One particular day I decided to box up all the folders with all the updated inserts, and bring the box home.  The process of updating the folders took longer than I thought and I was tired.  My husband looked at me and said “what are the chances that you will need those tomorrow?”.  I agreed the chance was extremely low and decided to get some sleep, leaving the folders spread across my living room to be completed the following evening.  Of course, the very next day the fire alarms started to ring mid day and our school had to evacuate without signs, class lists, paperwork, etc.   Lesson:  Murphy’s Law Exists!  Be warned!

Mistake # 7 – The Big Drug Bust

Our school is right across the street from a big park full of trails.  It’s a beautiful setting, but also an easy place to hide.  I was well aware that one of our students was bringing drugs to school and selling them to others in the park.  However, I was one step behind him and never caught him in the act.  On a busy day, I saw him cross the road with friends and a big bag.  I checked to see if one of our other administrators could go for a walk in the park with me to see what we could discover.  They were tied up in meetings, but I didn’t want to let this moment pass by as I didn’t want our students smoking drugs in the park. I decided to linger behind the student group and enter the park alone.  In the distance I saw the person with the backpack head off the trail and head into the woods.  I decided I would out-smart him.  Instead of allowing him to see me coming down the same path, I decided to venture into the woods through a different direction so that we would meet up at the same spot.  I climbed over stumps, navigated tree roots and eventually came to the same clearing as the student with the back pack.  I said hello.  He turned around so we were face to face.  There I was staring at a man in his mid 40’s in the middle of the woods.  Hmmm.  Not so safe.  I quickly excused myself and exited quickly.   Lesson:  Safety First.  Plain and Simple. 

Mistake # 6 – Caesar Salad for All 

In preparation for parent night, and a staff dinner at the break, my principal asked me to pick up romaine lettuce at Costco.  I asked how much I should pick up.  She said four.  So off I went to Costco in search of lettuce.  I was delighted to find that Costco has already bundled the lettuce 4 / pack, so I picked up one pack and headed for the till.  Ten minutes before the dinner my principal asked me where the rest of the lettuce was.  I asked her what she was talking about.  Apparently she had meant four packages.  Who knew you couldn’t make salad for 80 people with only 4 heads of lettuce!  Now, most of you will probably think that I should learn something from this, but really, the lesson here is that we need to recognize the strengths in one another.  Funny how Mary never asked me to cook again.  Lesson: Know your strengths.  Cooking is not mine.

Mistake # 5 – Awards Night during Teacher Job Action 

Last June we had difficulty determining whether or not we should host our Awards Evening as the teachers were in Job Action and unable to volunteer their time to assist.  We decided that we would go ahead with a streamlined version.  Rather than having award recipients approach the stage one by one, we would call them up in groups based on the awards won.  Mark Rao MC’d the event, Mary O’Neill shook hands with the students and I distributed the awards and certificates from the table.  Minutes in I realized I was way over my head.  Students were approaching every second, and matching them with their awards in time for the photo was becoming an impossible task.  Deciding the show must go on, I continued to hand out awards and tell the students to smile. Only problem? The certificates did not match their names.  Each time I whispered to the student to see me at the end to swap the certificates.  At the end of the evening I remember Mark and Mary being pleased, and saying ” Wow – that sure ran smoothly!”.  I then explained that our blonde haired top Calculus student actually posed with the Korean student’s Drafting award with the wrong name, etc.  Good thing the camera didn’t have a zoom lens and no one noticed!  Lesson: The Show Must Go On! Smile for the camera, let the students shine and work out the kinks later.  Oh, and pray that Job Action will not return.

Mistake # 4 – Winter Formal Tickets

For years, our school has held a winter formal dance as a fundraiser for school clubs. Tickets have always been a hot item as the venue only holds 250 students.  In years past, students camped overnight to get tickets and then slept through or skipped class.  This didn’t seem educationally sound so we decided that we would sell tickets after school as a secret location within the building.  We decided not to announce the location until after our last class so that all students could attend school, and then have an equal chance of getting into line.  We asked one of our teachers to be near the secret location (at the end of a hallway) to help maintain an orderly line once the location was announced.  We picked our PE hallway as we have cameras in this location and we would be able to replay the video footage if students tried to sneak into line ahead of others.  Again, sounds like a good idea right?  OK – now imagine hundreds of students running full speed down the same hallway with one staff member trying to hold them back.  The video footage is priceless.  Imagine a mosh pit where the teacher, Dave Jones,  is all of a sudden crowd surfing with his hands flailing in the air as he is moved down the hall.  Sorry Dave! Thank goodness we moved to an internet based system this year.  Lesson: Embrace Technology and Avoid the Old Fashioned Line Up Craze!

Mistake # 3 – Fieldtrip Disaster

When I was teaching Marketing at Terry Fox Secondary, I arranged a fieldtrip to Seattle each semester.  We rented a coach bus to travel in comfort.  I did all the necessary paperwork so the office had all the student information.  Students had their ID, and we were ready to go.  However, on the way back home, our bus broke down on the side of the I-5 Highway near Mount Vernon.  The driver concluded the bus would not re-start and we started to unload.  This caused some traffic congestion in the area. Most of our students had moved to the grassy area beside the highway and the final six and the driver were in the midst of exiting the bus.  At that moment, a semi trailer failed to see the traffic stopping ahead, swerved to miss the traffic and instead clipped the front end of our bus.  The bus started to tip towards the kids and the truck flipped over the guard rail in front of us.bus accident  As you can tell by the photo, it is a miracle no one was seriously hurt in this accident.  However, when I phoned the school to inform parents and administration I realized the school was now closed and I didn’t have the contact numbers for our administrators.  Lesson: When planning fieldtrips, leave the necessary paperwork with the school, but travel with the necessary contact information to reach school staff and parents.

Mistake # 2 Hot Air Balloon

While working at Dr. Charles Best, I tried to come up with a creative idea each year to help raise thousands of dollars for the Terry Fox Foundation.  These included a ‘Kiss A Goat’ event, ‘Blue Devils on the Run Garden Gnomes’ and a ‘Hot Air Balloon Event’.  I approached Remax and asked them to donate their hot air balloon for our fundraiser.  They agreed.  We sold plastic balls for $10 each, and set a target.  The balloon operator then dropped thousands of balls from the sky, and the student with the ball closest to the pin won a $1000 cash prize.  The remaining funds went to the Terry Fox Foundation.  Again, sounds good right?  Over the past five years we have raised closed to $50 000 for the Terry Fox Foundation so I would consider this a success on many grounds.  However, when our event ended up on the front cover of the paper, a concerned citizen lodged a formal complaint with the BC Lottery Corporation.  In their eyes, we were teaching children, under the age of 19 to gamble, without a lottery license.  My apologies to the entire district who had to endure re-training on when and how to get a lottery licence.  Lesson: Be creative, have fun, help charities, but get a lottery license first!

Mistake #1:  Sandra & Samantha’s Reunion Twistsandra sam In 2009, we began Project HELLO, helping the homeless from the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver re-connect with family through Christmas Cards.  Sandra, pictured on the left, was the first woman to write a card.  When we found her daughter Samantha in Alberta they were both overjoyed.  Samantha had presumed her mother was dead, and was so excited to find out she was alive in Vancouver.  Neither had the funds to reunite, so our students and staff chipped in and paid for an all-expense paid trip for Samantha to come to Vancouver, including flights, accommodation and food.  After re-connecting them at the airport, we traveled in my car to the hotel.  Mid-route Samantha proceeded to tell the students and I that she would not be accepting the return flight, as she had decided to stay in Vancouver with her mom.  She shared a story about just getting out of jail in time for the flight as she had recently taken a Calgary city bus on a joy-ride.  Her children were no longer in her care.   Shocked and confused my mind was racing.  Minutes after dropping them off at the hotel, I was in contact with the Calgary police to discuss the situation. Samantha did decide to stay for a couple months and live with her mother on the streets of Vancouver.  This wasn’t exactly what we had pictured, yet when I look back, I recognize that it was still a beautiful act.  At the core, a mother and daughter were able to re-connect and share family stories, after a decade of not hearing from each other.  They may live lives that are very different from ours, but they love one another and deserved the opportunity to connect as a family. Lesson: Find the positive in each situation. Families come in many shapes and sizes, and helping them connect will never be wrong.

Above all, the most valuable lesson I have learned is that we have to take risks, seek new challenges and be comfortable making mistakes in order to grow and learn.  Oh – and in case you are wondering, I got the job!  Thomas Haney, I look forward to learning from my mistakes with you!

When the world says, “Give up,” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.” 

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The Power of Why: 101 New Year’s Resolutions

Maybe I’m feeling inspired from our recent trip to Disneyland, or maybe it’s the excitement I feel about beginning a new job next month, but as we begin a new year and I look inward to create meaningful resolutions, I find I am fascinated with the topic of creativity and innovation.

I have just finished reading The Power of Why by Amanda Lang and look forward to power of whyborrowing ideas from the book to spark creativity and innovation in our schools. As a child, Lang decided she wanted to be an architect. Her family supported her career goal and very early on she knew the steps to take to reach her goal. Unfortunately as she reached adulthood, she asked ‘how’ questions to reach the next step but didn’t stop to ask herself ‘why’. Eventually she realized that she had much more passion for the stories within the buildings rather than the buildings themselves, and she changed directions to explore a career in Journalism. All of a sudden all night assignments became invigorating rather than exhausting and she knew she was on the right path.  She now co-hosts the Lang & O’Leary Exchange CBC and is the senior business correspondent for CBC News.

While this book focusses most on the business world I believe there are many valuable lessons that we can take away and apply to education.

  • Shift our priorities. Rather than trying to develop creativity while meeting prescribed learning outcomes, what if creativity becomes an outcome itself?  Developing creativity as a learning outcome or competency allows us to remain curious, seek to improve, ask questions, and look at problems from new angles.  In essence, those who think creatively will continue to learn.
  • Find ways to preserve child-like wonder and reignite natural curiosity. In twin studies, research suggests that 80% of IQ is related to genetics but only 30% of our creativity.  This suggests that 70% of our creativity comes from environmental factors and can be learned. Unfortunately it can also be diminished if it is not encouraged.
  • Focus on the questions, not just a desired answer.  Promote questioning to develop divergent thinking.  A shift to develop a curious mentality versus an expert mentality allows students the ability to understand how they learn, and develops a skill set that will be beneficial in the future.
  • Look at education through the eyes of the customer.  Private schools do a great job at this, promoting their strengths and the benefits the customer will receive.  Unfortunately the public system often turns to the media to highlight what’s not working in schools rather than highlighting our tremendous strengths and opportunities as one of the best education systems in the world. To stay innovative, we need to continually improve while focusing on our strengths.
  • Reflect. If we want to be creative and curious in our work, then we need to start with ourselves.  People who have the courage to self-reflect and ask questions of themselves create opportunities for growth and positive change.  Lang warns that those who focus on routine and comfort may wake up one day only to recognize they are in the wrong career or wrong relationship.
  • Start with individual ideas and then work together. The most creative ideas develop when students have the time to brainstorm alone first and then bring their ideas to the group. Beginning as a group reduces creativity for a variety of reasons including self-censorship, groupthink, taking turns, laziness and a tendency to promote harmony over creativity.
  • We need to teach our students that one of the best ways to stay actively engaged in their learning when they feel they are losing focus is to stop and ask a question.  Students with ADHD have a natural aptitude for applying ideas from one topic to another – a gift in innovative thinking.
  • Shift thinking from ‘How’ to ‘Why’.  Rather than asking how we are going to accomplish our goals, or get our daily, monthly or yearly tasks done, stop and ask why.  Why do students and parents choose our school? Why do we do things the way we do? Often those who have lived in multiple countries or worked in various industries have a learned ability to ask why and look at situations with fresh eyes. Do we take time to stop and get the perspective from those around us?

So – as we enter a new year, I have decided to set resolutions from a different angle. Rather than asking what I want to do this year, I will look a bit deeper with each resolution and ask why. Gaining a deeper understanding of my goals will help me reflect on what I truly value and what I hope to accomplish. To set resolutions that matter, I plan to use a technique Lang describes that is used by many Fortune 500 companies to encourage innovation: Participants at creativity retreats are asked to generate a list of 101 goals. This seems like a rather long list, but the length has purpose as the goals that are harder to think of often require more stretch or deeper exploration into who we want to be. Goals that are further down the list are often more creative and unique.  Once completed, participants are asked to narrow their list to their top fifteen goals.  More often than not, goals near the end of 101 list make their way to the Top 15.

I am inspired by this idea, and will try this in order to set my New Year’s Resolutions for 2013. And like a child with natural curiousity, I will ask myself a lot of questions, understanding why and why not.  Although I have yet to complete this activity (that’s tomorrow’s task), I have a sneaking suspicion I already know one of my top goals for 2013….  I will awaken the three year old child within me and approach life from a curious perspective, not afraid to ask Why or Why Not.  As Lang concludes “asking questions makes life richer, more interesting, more fulfilling and more complete.  Better.  That’s the power, and ultimately the purpose, of Why”.